


IDOL, written for Concultingidiote chapter 1

by Tildathings



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Coming Out, Dancing, Jealous Girlfriend, John is dreaming, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Tv program IDOL in Sweden, suprised John
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-10-01 07:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17240390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tildathings/pseuds/Tildathings
Summary: This autumn I fell hard for one of the participants in Swedish IDOL. I chatted on Discord with Concultingidiote about Sebastian Wallden. We talked about how Sherlock and John would react to meeting a openly gay young man that was participating in a competition. John’s jealousy and Sherlock’s admiration at the man. Concultingidiote, this is my take on our chat and a Thank you to you.





	1. Jealous girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Please if you see something wrong in the text, let me know.  
> I have dyslexia and English is my second language. This fic is written with help of three different help programs for dyslexic people. 
> 
> Yes, my English is maybe bad but I love to tell the story.  
> The stories that I can’t find on ao3 but I would like to read.  
> If you find that something bothers you about the fic. Please leave and find a fic that’s better for your. 
> 
> Happy New Year! I hope that 2019 will be a good year for everyone! Tilda

It’s the autumn of 2018 and Sherlock is reading a mail from a client. Rosie is sitting besides him on the couch talking to her toys that are made of wood and looking like animals, she has been doing it for over twenty minutes now to Sherlock’s surprise. 

“She has change in her temperament this last year.” Sherlock thinks for himself at the same time as he glances at her.  
“When John and she moved in last autumn she could be a handful. Hyperactive and always keeping a eye and ear out for where John was. Now she’s calmer and satisfied if she knows where I or Mrs Hudson is if John isn’t home.”  
He smiles because now he knows Rosie feels secure with him and Mrs Hudson or Nana as she calls her. 

Sherlock returns to the email that he was reading before Rosie stole his interest for a moment. 

The email is from a man that has a jealous girlfriend. He comes from Sweden but has lived in London for eight months. Five months ago he met a girl and they started dating. Jan Pettersson was open with her that he was bisexual from there second date. All was good between them and they spend as much time as they could together. 

The problem started in the middle of September when Idol started to broadcast in Sweden. One of the top ten candidates to Swedish Idol was a friend of his. He wanted to see the show with her in it. 

He had told Amy before about Natalie and that she was a good friend from his childhood. Amy had asked if they been a couple or had a fling?  
Jan thought that her reaction of his answer at the time made her calm.  
She said that she wanted to see the show together with him. 

To his surprise it was somebody else that made him interested instead of his friend Natalie.  
Sebastian Walldén entering the stage and sang the song, Dancing On My Own by Calum Scott.

He’s fantastic!  
Jan didn’t realize that his girlfriend had becomes rather upset. She left him halfway through the performance by Sebastian.

After when she returned with a cup of tea in her hand she said nothing but she radiated anger.  
He had asked her why she was so angry and she had answered that she didn’t like it when he obviously become attracted to somebody else then her. Dumbly he said.  
“It’s nobody else then you here?” She had only looked on him but didn’t say anything more.

The second week she didn’t want them to see Idol at all.  
Jan hadn’t seen the show with her, but later after she left he streamed the show and looked at it alone.

Again Sebastian stole his interest. His version of Youngblood was fantastic. 

Somehow his girlfriend knew that he had seen Idol the next day when they met for dinner. She accused him for wanting to go to Gothenburg and met Nathalie so  
he could meet Sebastian at the same time! 

Jan was speechless! What’’s she on about? He only likes a man’s way of singing. 

This isn’t any case for Sherlock, he realizes but his curiosity is strong and he Google Sebastian, Swedish Idol and Dancing On My Own. 

OH!  
Gay, in his twenties. No, he’s 23 years old. A good singer with a personal voice and is charismatic on stage.  
YES!

I can understand why the girlfriend feels threatened by this man’s performance.  
Ok, one more clip! Youngblood!  
Sherlock deduce the clip on youtube without realizing that he’s doing it.

He's been in USA for much of last year, performing as a drag queen and played theater.  
Sherlock’s mind is racing with information.

He then sees a clip from the audition but it’s in Swedish.  
He clicks at the clip. Rosie goes down from the couch and starts to dance too the music.

Sebastian sings with feelings and even if he can’t understand a word he feels the song in his body resonates.  
“I must translate the text later so I can understand what he’s singing.  
Rosie is trying to sing too with no real words. She is so happy and dancing around in the room. Sherlock smile at the four years old girl.

At the moment John opens the door to the room and stands there looking at them.  
“Do you two have a party?”  
“No, Watson is helping me with a case.”  
“A case that doesn’t involve English music?”  
“Music translates through different language anyway.”  
“What’s the case about?”  
“A jealous girlfriend.”  
“A what?! You never take cases because of jealousy?!

“It’s a bit more to it this time. Jan Pettersson is the one looking for our help. He’s from Sweden and bisexual. He moved to London for eight months ago because of work. Met his English girlfriend five months ago.  
The person she is jealous of is in a Swedish show that’s called Idol. Her boyfriend has a friend that’s in the program. When he streamed the program the first time his girlfriend looked at the show with him. One of the other contenders caught Jan’s eyes. He’s the one you heard singing when you came in”

“Oh, many people have seen this clip, Back to Black!”  
Sherlock push play and John comes forward and looks at the laptop screen.  
Rosie starts to dance again singing along the music.  
“His young, but pretty good.”  
“Pretty good!? He’s more than good! He’s only twenty three years old. Think what he can do with the right voice teacher and coaching!  
“Okey! Don’t bite my head of. I only heard one and a half song.”  
“Even you would hear that’s he’s a good singer.”  
“What do Jan Pettersson want you to do about his girlfriend jealousy?  
“I haven’t read the email too the end yet. Wanted to know why his girlfriend was so upset first. So I youtube his name.”  
“All right, now you know. What’s for dinner tonight? I really doesn’t want to cook tonight.”  
“Order something in then. I must read Jan’s email.”  
“You’re not thinking that you will take the case?”  
“Why shouldn’t I? If this man’s life is in danger?”  
“Why should it be in danger? He’s in Sweden!”  
“Well, you can go to Gothenburg by aircraft or boat. Doesn’t take much time.”

John’s stands there looking at Sherlock as he lost his mind.

“You would go to Sweden because MAYBE a man can be killed by a jealous girlfriend?”  
“Too many people that are gay are killed every year, John.” Sherlock’s voice is very calm.  
“Yes, but why is that so important in this case?  
“This talented, beautiful man can be in danger and I can help so he doesn’t become hurt in any way.”  
“That’s important for you?”  
“As a gay man myself, yes!” John is gasping and trying to understand what Sherlock is saying.

“The Woman!” He gets out in a whisper.  
“What about Miss Adler? Rosie is now standing in between her father and her beloved Poppy that’s she calls Sherlock most of the time.  
“You’re not in love with her?”  
“I’m gay, John. Not bisexual. Is everything clear now?”  
“Why haven’t you told me this before?”

Sherlock is staring at John like he lost his mind. 

“Why should I? It wasn’t important in our relationship. You’re my straight friend and who I fancy hasn’t anything to do with you.”  
“Good! So then I can go out and pull any bird I want?” John’s voice is so angry and it looks like he really most hold himself back to not hit Sherlock.

With a low voice Sherlock answers him as the same time he lifts Rosie up into his arms.  
“You have done that all the time in all the years we known each other. You even married a woman and got a child that’s now is very scared.”  
John drops his head in his hands and says.  
“Sorry.”  
“Go and shower and change from your working clothes. I take care of Watson and order dinner.”  
John looks up on him and Rosie and nods his head.  
“All right.”

“Poppy, Why is Daddy so angry at the man singing?”  
“He isn’t angry at the man. He’s angry because I haven’t told him something about myself to him. He’s angry because he wanted to know this thing.”  
“What’s gay?”  
“The word gay has two meanings. You can be happy or a man can love another man.”  
Rosie looks him into his eyes and says with a thoughtful voice.  
“You can love Daddy?”  
“I will always love your Daddy as a friend. But when you say the word gay it’s means that the two men loves each other like your Daddy and Mommy did.”  
“Oh, they get married?”  
“Yes, they can if they want to.”

John is hearing this conversation there he stands just outside the bathroom door.  
He's still angry but now his more upset over that Sherlock maybe soon will find a man to be with. What would then happen? Must Rosie and he move out so Sherlock’s love interest can move in? Angrily he opens the door. 

That evening are hard for both John and Sherlock. The food is on the table 40 minutes later when John comes out from the bathroom. He’s had showed, shaved and put on nice clothes.  
“Even Sherlock will see that he can look good if he try.” He thinks for himself standing in front of the mirror in his room.

Sherlock has decided on a curry tonight and they eat in silence. Rosie is the only one talking non stop about her friends at daycare and the horrible Mrs Cutter that’s the other class teacher but all children hear her at the playground. 

“It’s good that your head teacher is Miss Small than.” John decides to answer Rosie after another story about Mrs Cutter.  
“Yes, but it’s isn’t funny for Mike!” Mike is one of her friends in the other class. John and Mike’s mother had dated for a while last year but after 6 weeks John ended the affair. He said to everyone asking that he still wasn’t over his wife’s death. The real reason was he was bored with the woman and wanted to have more time with Sherlock and Rosie. He had just moved in with Sherlock in the second week of dating Mike’s mother. 

Sherlock isn’t saying anything only pushing around his food and eating a bit now and then so Rosie will eat her food. In the beginning of them living together and Rosie being in her terrible twos and saying NO to everything. Specifically if Daddy and Poppy didn’t do something she had to do.

“Poppy, will you be dating a man like Daddy do with some women?”  
“I haven’t thought about it, Watson. It’s isn’t so easy to find a man that wants to date me, you know. You know how irritated Daddy becomes sometimes because of me.”  
“You know very well that many men AND women would date you if you showed even a little bit interest in any of them.”  
John grumbles with a low voice. “Why can’t you and Poppy go on dates?  
“I have already answered that question, Watson.” Sherlock’s voice is so calm and quiet and he takes Rosie’s nearest hand and squeezes it gently.  
“Both Daddy and I love you very much. It doesn’t matter that Daddy dates women and I possibly goes on a date with a man. You needn’t be worrying, darling.” 

Rosie’s head drops down and she says with a small voice.  
“Mummy’s that dates often finds new Dads to their children.”  
“Hey, I have dated but Sherlock is still your Poppy, isn’t he?”  
“Yes, but you haven’t been on a date for a long time!” Rosie’s voice is whiny now.

Rosie was right. He hadn’t been on a date for over nine months now. He didn’t feel that he had the time to date. Rosie, work and not at least Sherlock took all the time. Telling the truth he hadn’t thought much over the issue. Days come and went and he only thought about it late at night alone in his bed. 

Before Rosie and he moved in they had extended the apartment with a room upstairs and a extra toilet room. The room was small but it works for him.

“Well nobody is dating anyone at the moment so why don’t we just relax and look at the new movie we choose at the library yesterday? Sherlock answers her resolutely.  
The nearest library had a very good children’s department where they had borrow books and movies. 

“Paddington!”  
“I can do the dishes if you go and see the movie with Watson.” His voice is a demand not a question. John looks at him briefly and sees that Sherlock wants to be alone for a while.  
“Okay, sweetheart! Let’s go and see the movie.”

Later when it’s only a short while before the movie is over, Sherlock comes into the living room with two mugs with tea. He gives John one of the mugs and sits down in his armchair.  
“Thanks”  
“You welcome. Is it a good film, darling? Rosie looks up at Sherlock from where she lays on the floor beside him. She nods her head and gives him a smile. 

After the film John hastily takes Rosie up to her room for the night. She’s soon a sleep after a quiet evening with Daddy and Poppy. John sees her smile even when she sleeps. He wonders how long time she will have him and Poppy happy together as a family. His thoughts is very dark when he sits down to read for a bit in his armchair after he’s come down to Sherlock. 

Sherlock is reading and answering Jan Pettersson’s mail. He suggests a meeting the next day. He gets rather immediately a response back from Jan to meet at 10.00 at Baker Street the next day. 

……………………. The next day…………….  
Jan Pettersson is sitting in the client chair looking nervously around the room.

Is it really a skull and a knife put through a bunch of letters?  
Jan is a handsome man in his late twenties. Blond, with green/blue eyes. His as long as Sherlock but a much more muscular built.  
“Many hours in the gym.” Sherlock thinks for himself and lets his eyes go over the other man’s body with a appreciating look. 

Sherlock take a breath and finds Jan’s eyes and asks.  
“So, Mr Pettersson why do you think your girlfriend will hurt a man that’s in another country, because of your girlfriend's jealousy?”

“She has tried to kill a rival before. When she was 16 years old she had a relationship with a boy, he often spoke to one of her friends. The more they talked, more angry Amy become. One evening they went to a party. Her friend was at the party with her own boyfriend.”  
“Amy went to the bathroom with some of the other girls, when she returned after some time her boyfriend and her friend were dancing.”

“She threatened both her boyfriend and the girl that if they didn’t stopped seeing each other she would make them stop.”  
“Her boyfriend tried to calm her down but she got only angrier than before.”  
“Nobody knows how she got her hands on a knife, it was a kitchen knife. She throws the knife at the girl that was standing behind Amy’s boyfriend.”  
“Some of the other boys then throw themselves on her and restrained her.” “Someone other person at the party called the police.”  
“She got a warning and restraining order to not come near either her former boyfriend or friend. She was lightly sentenced because nobody was hurt and the knife landed on the floor near the girls feet.”

“How did you learn about this episode in her life?”

“Two days ago a friend of her, Marie contacted me. I have met her several times together with Amy on pub evening’s and party’s. Marie is Amy’s childhood friend. Marie was worried after talking to Amy that morning. Amy had become rather upset when she talked about me, listening and seeing Sebastian on youtube. She recognized the same signs that Amy had before the attack on the girl.”

“Isn’t it a bit overzealous of Amy to go to Sweden and harm a person that neither she or you met before, because she’s jealous?”

“I’m worried! Next week I will go home to Gothenburg for a week. The show is made there and the program sells tickets. My friend Nathalie has already gotten me and her parents tickets and we will go and see her and and after the show we all three has a backstage passes. That was decided ten days ago. After I told Amy that I would go home and visit my parents and then go and see Nathalie she became very upset. She throw things at me so I left her apartment and went home. After I left her, she called me over 20 times that night before I switch the phone of.”  
Jan takes a breath before he starts talking again.

“Her friend also told me that’s she has always been very controlling and gets easily upset in a relationship. She’s been like that against me to after the first time we so Sebastian in the show. Asking me if I been watching him on youtube in the evening after she left me. Asking if I liked the man at Tesco that helped me find a product I was looking for. That sort of things that she done after we seen Sebastian on youtube.”

He’s shaking his head looking disgusted.

“You don’t love her anymore.” Sherlock says that more like a statement than a question.

With a big sigh Jan answers him.  
“I have never been with such a jealous and controlling person before and after last week outburst of violence?” He can’t find the words to tell Sherlock what he feels but it isn’t love he feels.

“To tell you the truth, I’m afraid of her. Never had I thought I would be afraid for a woman weighing nine and a half stone and being five foot three inches long?”

“Well, I can relate to that feeling, I have also had my problems with people much smaller than me, that have been terrifying. It’s good that you told me this because that made me decide to take the case.”

“What should we do? What can I do?”

“When are you leaving to go to Gothenburg?”  
“I leave at Monday morning at nine o’clock from Heathrow.”  
“Good, I most talk with my partner and plan some things. It’s Thursday today, are you working or?”  
“Yes, I will be writing all afternoon and evening because I have a deadline at four a clock at Friday.”  
“You’re a writer?”  
“Yes, it’s why I ended up in London. I had too known how it is to live here. I write crime novels. It’s my third book.”  
“Maybe John has read your books?” His voice is very low like his talking to himself.  
“John Watson?” Jan is smiling now.  
“Yes, of course I mean John!” A nearly speechless Sherlock looks at Jan. How could the man be so stupid that he didn’t understand that he was talking about John Hamish Watson?

“Okey! I’m looking forward to meeting him.”  
“Yes, he's working as a Doctor today.” Grumbles Sherlock in response before he asks.  
“Where do you write?”  
“My favorite place is in a library near my house. It’s open to ten in the evening.”  
“Go there and try not to speak with Amy before we talk again.”  
“You have my number?”  
Sherlock check the email on his computer.  
“Yes, I have your number and email address.”

They say goodbye and after Jan have left, Sherlock go to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Thinking what to tell John about the case when he comes home. 

…………………….Later that evening………………….  
John comes home with Rosie, holding her hand in his. She is skipping along beside him and talking non stop about her day at daycare. They’re met at the door by a smell of spices like saffron and garlic. 

“I have made dinner, casserole and rice. Go wash your hands and then we can eat.”

Sherlock voice is happy and John smiles when he sees that the table is set with tablecloth and a candle’s.  
“Are we celebrating something”  
“Do you not remember? Today, you and Watson have lived at Baker Street a year.”  
“Oh, we’re celebrating! Come Rosie we must wash our hands first.”  
But Rosie did first a beeline to get a hug and a kiss from Poppy.

“Did you have a good dag, Watson?” He kiss and hug Rosie back.  
John stands there looking at them and feel jealousy against Rosie that can do that, then he catches himself and decides to intervene.  
“Rosie! Go and wash your hands! Poppy’s food is getting over cooked if you don’t hurry!”  
Sherlock lets her down on the floor and both Rosie and John goes to the bathroom.

“This is delicious, Sherlock! You’re a good cook when you cook.”  
“It’s marvelous Poppy! Can I have a bit more?” She has heard Daddy say this word many times when Poppy has cooked or done something good. She likes how Poppy’s eyes light up when Daddy or she says that word to him.

“Don’t forget that we have dessert today, Bee.” Sherlock doesn’t want her to eat more and then can’t eat dessert.  
“What kind of dessert?” Rosie is trying to figure out what she would like more the casserole or the dessert. 

“It’s your favorite, gooey toffee pudding with ice cream.”  
“Oh.” Rosie sounds so disappointed. “Dessert then, can we eat more of the casserole tomorrow?”  
“You will eat the same thing two days after each other?” John is surprised because sometimes Rosie can be a fussy eater, specially leftovers.  
“Yes, I liked it.”  
“High phrase of the food indeed, Sherlock!”  
Sherlock blushes over the phrase from his two Watson’s

After the dinner John starts on the dishes and Sherlock and Rosie goes to the living room. Sherlock and Rosie snuggles together on the couch under a blanket and Sherlock is reading the story about The hare and tortoise.  
After they discuss what the story was about.  
“Mike would like this story.” Rosie says. “He’s always late too things but nearly every time finish before anyone else.”  
“Yes, I have seen him focus very hard when he’s doing things.” John and Sherlock have the last month babysat Mike some afternoon. Then his mother had babysitting Rosie for them. 

John comes into the room telling Rosie that her bath is ready.  
“Must I?” Rosie isn’t really complaining. It’s only that she feels so cozy, sitting under the blanket talking with Poppy.  
“Yes, Miss Lazy pants! You’re all sticky on your face and hands!” John starts to tickle her and a laughing Rosie try to escape him into the bathroom.  
Sherlock can’t resist laughing at them. Then a thought comes into his head.  
“What can I do to have this as long as I can?”

............................................................................................................

When Rosie has fallen asleep John goes down to Sherlock in the living room.  
“Do you want more wine or tea?” Sitting on the couch, Sherlock holds up the teapot in the air.  
“I’m working tomorrow so I stick with tea.”

Sherlock has made a pot with tea when John put Rosie to sleep.  
He pours John a cup of tea and for himself little more wine. 

“Thanks, it was a very good dinner, both the food and the wine.”  
Sherlock holds up his glass of wine and say’s.

“Salute for many more years as Rosie’s family.”  
“As a family!” John can’t nearly believe what he’s saying, the John hurry’s to ask.“You really means that? Even if you find a boyfriend?”

“One day at the time, for Rosie I would do all I can to be there for her. In worst case scenario, we buy a house, you and your wife at one floor. Me and my boyfriend on second floor. Rosie could have a room at each floor or if she’s older a own floor?” Sherlock hastily drinks more wine.  
“Oh, she would love that if she is a teenager! Living alone at her own floor, if there is a direct entrance door too her floor? Do you know how much problem we would have?!”

“Maybe one room in the middle then with no own entrance door?”  
“Now you’re talking. But how do we be able to afford a house like that? Not in London anyway.”  
“You know that in the last year we have had cases that’s been highly paid.  
The Scandinavian Royals case, the blue carbuncle case and so on.”  
“That’s your money,”  
“No, you was totally important for the case solution. It’s money that we both worked and sacrificed for, specially you that had to leave Rosie for three days for the Royal case.”  
“So we will buy a house together?”  
“Well, if we can’t live here because it wouldn’t work with so few rooms?”

“Speaking of few rooms. Sherlock interrupts the discussion. “The new case, you may have to leave your room and sleep in my room three nights this weekend. Jan Pettersson will sleep in your room.”

John is shocked, that was the last thing he thought Sherlock would say.

“I don’t think he would like to sleep in the same room as me? We’re friends and have shared a room before?” Sherlock frowns when he sees John’s face expression. 

“Why most he sleep here?”  
“So you can protect him before we leave for Gothenburg at Monday. Mother and Father will take care of Rosie from Saturday evening. Jan will come with us on Saturday to them so you will keep him safe.”

John hastily stands up and angrily stares at Sherlock.  
“This is a jealousy case! Not a assassin case!” John roars!  
“Stop roaring, you are waking up Watson.” Sherlock tried to speak as calmly as he can. Then he says in a calm and low voice.  
“Jan IS in danger. Amy is dangerous. I have read police reports, court sentences and my own observations.”

“Alright, telł me all you know about the case. You’ve forgotten my work!”  
“I have already talked to Susan, you will work two weekend’s for her instead and you get seven days of.”  
“You’ve no-“  
“You can always stay at home and work and I get Mycroft to get me a man that can protect Jan and me, if I need help?  
John growing under his breath and then muttering to Sherlock.

“Okay, you’re a idiot but I will do it.” He is flops down beside Sherlock again.  
“Go on!” He doesn’t say idiot again but it’s obvious what he thinks.  
…………………………..Friday evening…………………………  
John comes home to a scene he never thought he would see in his life. The music is playing loudly *It’s Raining Men*!  
Rosie that on Friday’s usually is home with Sherlock and Nana, if Sherlock hasn’t a case on.  
All three of them are dancing with a very good looking man. He’s tall, blonde and laughing with melodic laughter. He’s holding Sherlock in his arms and dancing around the living room. The furniture has been drawn to the sides of the room so a *dance place* is available for them to dance.

Nana and Rosie is dancing with each other, holding hands. Rosie is definitely moving more vigorous than Mrs Hudson!

Sherlock makes a turn and sees John standing in the doorway looking at them.

“Hi John, Welcome home! We are starting the weekend celebration early!  
The man swings around with Sherlock and greats John with a big smile and says.  
“You’re welcome to cut in and grab a partner!”  
“Here John, take your little sweetheart for a dance.” Mrs Hudson gives John Rosie’s nearest hand.  
The music changes to Y.M.C.A by Village People. Rosie screams in delight and throws herself around John's legs.

“Sweetheart give me your hands so I can dance with you. Have you had a good day with Nana and Poppy?”  
“Poppy? Jan says loudly with laughter in his voice. “Popeye?”  
“Yes! I’m Rosie’s Poppy, isn’t she a lovely little girl?”  
“Oh! A proud father have said his mind. Yes, both of you guys have a lovely daughter.  
John interrupt hastily.  
“We know we have a beautiful daughter together.”  
“Poppy dance with me, please.” Rosie is asking but still holding on to John’s hand. “I want to dance with both of you, please.”

Both Jan and Mrs Hudson smile and Mrs Hudson says a little, Ahhh.  
Just then the music shifts and Bruce Springsteen starts to sing Hungry heart.

“What do you say Mrs Hudson about a slow spin around the room?” Jan bow for Mrs Hudson and she takes his out stretch hand and giggles.  
“Of course, young man.”

Sherlock shrugs and lifts up Rosie at his right side and goes into John’s waiting arms. John lays his right arm around Sherlock’s middle and his left hand on Rosie’s back. Rosie lays one arm around John’s head and the other arm around Sherlock’s. 

Just when they start to move Bruce sings. “I took a wrong turn and I just kept on going.”  
Sherlock smiles at Rosie and gives her a forehead kiss. John is just staring at him. Sherlock looks up and directly into John’s eyes the chorus starts.

“Everybody got a hungry heart.” Bruce sings.

Sherlock smiles both with his eyes and mouth and John wishes so badly that he could Pull Sherlock into a kiss. Instead he kisses Rosie’s forehead.  
“Kiss Poppy too!” She squeal in a high pitch voice.  
John looks up at Sherlock but doesn’t know his face betrayal him at the moment, a longing look.  
Quietly Sherlock leans in and kisses his forehead.  
“My dear Watsons. He says with a low voice that only John and Rosie can hear. 

When the music stops they’re only standing there holding each other and smiling.

“What do you say about a cup of tea Jan?” Her voice is low nearly a whisper on Mrs Hudson’s lips.  
“Thank you, that would be good.”

“Tea!”  
Sherlock take a step from John and direkt his next word to the other two in the room. “Then would you probably want to see your room that you’re sleeping in for some days, Jan?” 

John only stands there feeling cold and rejected.  
“Why couldn’t there only been us three in the room?” He thinks. 

After tea and a inspection of John’s room, John quickly pack a bag with things for three nights. Jan starts to unpack his thing and smalltalks about Sweden and the upcoming visit there.

“My mother is so excited that you and Sherlock Holmes will visit us and sleep in our summerhouse. You will have your own little cottage with one bedroom, living room and kitchen. We built the house on our farm for my sister to have when she comes home at visits. She lives in the north of Sweden.”

“Well, that sounds good. Sherlock is sometimes very active in the nights? Especially if his on a case.”  
“Yeah, we know. My mother have read your blog at many years now. She’s happy that you’ve starting to write again.”  
“Hope she won’t be disappointed when she meets me and Sherlock?”  
“My mother have met many authors in her life and know that many of them isn’t like the works that they have written. If you ask me I don’t think she will be disappointed at all.”  
“Is it through you she met other authors? Sherlock said you were a criminal writer?”  
Jan shaking his head and smiles at John.

“No, she has been publishing books for over 30 years now.”  
“Do she publishes your book’s?”  
“Never work with family, is my motto in life. My publisher is her biggest rival!”  
“Why did you choose him?”  
“Her. I didn’t want my mother to know that I had written a book. Therefore did I send my book to four different publishers. The one that publishing me now were the one that accepted my first book. Mother was very surprised that I was a writer.”  
“Sherlock said you’re writing your third book?”  
“Yes, and I meet the deadline on my work!”  
“Congratulations! That must feel good?”  
“There might be a lot to correct in it before it can be published.”  
“Yes, editing can be hard work.”

When John goes down with his suitcase he thinks that Jan is a interesting guy. He hopes that Sherlock and Jan don’t get interested in each other. He’s still a bit irritated over seeing them dancing together holding each other even when the music was very fast passing. After all it was disco music!


	2. Idol,  written for consultingidiots  chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock takes on the case Jan Pettersson have brought to him.  
> A jealousy case?
> 
> It doesn’t get better when he has to share Sherlock’s room and bed for three day so Jan can sleep in his room.  
> Specially now when he knows that Sherlock is gay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support Consultingidiots with this fic. 
> 
> From the start of this fic we have discussed the plot and you have helped me with beta reading.   
> This has been a very fun fic to write.   
> Probably only one chapter left when we go to Gothenburg, Sweden!

“Is everything alright with Jan and Rosie for the night?”   
It’s the first thing Sherlock asks when John comes into Sherlock’s bedroom that night.  
He’s sitting up on the bed reading some documents. The bed has a space besides him clearly for John to lay down. 

“Yeah, everything is okay Jan seams to be a rather nice bloke.”   
He’s trying to see if Sherlock will react to that’s statement.  
“Mm-“ he nods but keeps reading the papers in his hands.  
“You all looked like you had a very nice time, when I come home from work.”   
He keeps staring at Sherlock with arms crossed.

Sherlock looks up and sees John’s posture and reads how unsettled he is standing at the bedroom door.  
“Jan is a client John, I would never start a relationship with a person that’s a client. “Yes, we all four had fun and it felt good to be close to a person, that accepted his sexuality and isn’t hiding from himself or people around him. He made me realize that this is the person I want to be.”  
His voice is little uneven at the last sentence.   
“So that’s the reason you decided yesterday to come out to me?   
“Yes. I don’t want to hide from you anymore. It’s time for you too accept me as a gay man or leave me. It wasn’t a easy decision for me to make because I was so afraid to lose your friendship. Without you and Rosie, I would be a lost man!”  
Quickly John goes to the bed and sits down on his side of the bed.  
“It’s fine, you know it’s fine with me. You and Rosie are my family now.”  
“Do you have any problems with sleeping besides me for three nights? I mean now that you know?”  
He lifts his left eyebrow and looks closely at John; he’s trying to read the other man’s feelings.

“We have shared a bed before without problems. And you’re fully clothed not naked as you usually sleeps.”   
John is holding the eye contact and smiling a shy smile.  
“Yes, we have but at that time you didn’t know that I fancy the male body.” he can’t keep the eye contact any longer so instead he looks at the documents again. “It’s best you keep your clothes on too.” He quips.  
John starts to laugh at that. 

“Funny! Like you would like to see my middle aged body, with a shoulder wound.”  
“John, stop being silly! You’re looking very good and you know that! How many females flirts with you on a regular basis?”  
Sherlock’s voice is now irritated. John doesn’t understand if it’s because females are flirting with him or if it’s John’s negative thoughts about his body.   
“Thank you. What a boost of my ego before going to bed!”   
“Stop joking around and get ready for bed instead. Rosie will wake us up too early anyway, you know that.” Sherlock grumbles in response.   
“Okey, Have you already used the bathroom to get ready for bed?”  
“Yes, mummy! I have brushed my teeth and used the toilet, I’m ready for sleep!”  
John hits Sherlock’s nearest leg playfully and gets up from the bed.  
“Stop being mean or I will stay here, when you go to Sweden.”  
“You’re the one that will suffer in that case, no Rosie and no case to set your teeth in!” Sherlock smiles a bit smug. “And no Sherlock.”  
Silently John’s mind fills in, loudly he says opening the door to the bathroom.  
“I would be lost without my consulting detective.”

……………………………….The next morning………………………..

John is dreaming about coming home to a cold and empty flat. No, Rosie or Sherlock in the living room or kitchen. His hearts starts to beat very hard, nearly ringing in his ears. Where are they?!   
He goes down the corridor calling out Sherlock and Rosie’s names. He opens the door to Sherlock’s bedroom. Sherlock is lying in the bed’s far end with his back to the door.   
On the bed is a paper, with something written on it, lying on the empty place beside him. John goes to the bed and takes the paper and reads what’s written on it. 

*Rosie is with Mycroft and Greg tonight. Greg’s two nieces are visiting them. The three devils always have fun together, so Greg asked if Rosie could stay with them this evening.   
I hope your date wasn’t too dreadful.  
I’ve done an experiment in your room, so it’s best if you not enter the room till tomorrow. You can sleep here with me or in Rosie’s bed.  
Maybe, Rosie’s bed is a bit small even for you?*

John sighs after reading the note, he looks at Sherlock’s back and smiles.  
“You asked for it your bad man!” He mumbles to himself and starts undressing. He only keeps his red pants on.  
At first he’s lying on his back trying to breath as calmly as possible, but his left hand goes by itself and with trembling fingers to touches Sherlock’s back. When his fingers makes contact with the skin of the other man, it feels so soft under his fingers.   
He hears a sigh from the other man and he is a bit stunned that Sherlock doesn’t protest. He turns on his left side to be able to easier touch him. After a moment he wants to move closer to Sherlock to feel his skin and body under his fingers. He scoots closer very carefully and then waits if the other men will stop him.   
At last his body is touching, from head to toe, Sherlock’s back.  
His nose is filling up with the smell of the hair shampoo and Sherlock's own scent. He nuzzles his nose into Sherlock’s hair and shoulder. 

"I think my left hand is completely numb," Sherlock complains softly.  
“Can we change sleeping position, I want to hold you.” Sherlock mumbles in the dark. 

John wakes up with a jerk. Sherlock is lying as far as he can on his side of the bed. John is lying behind him, holding the other man close to himself. 

John’s stunted “I was dreaming! Why would I dream that Mycroft and Greg are together! John is holding hard on to Sherlock, terrified of what he might say or do now. 

“Would you have anything ... Could we change position?" Sherlock asks again with a low voice.   
“Sorry! I didn’t-  
“It’s alright, I would love to hold you in my arms for awhile. It’s to early in the morning to start the day.”   
He sighs, when John moves away and he can turn around. He lays his hand on John’s left shoulder and whispers.  
“Please, don’t get up jet. Can’t we lay down and-“ He’s looking for the words to explain what he wants to do. 

Silently John lays down besides him, waiting for what Sherlock will do now.   
A smile appears on Sherlock’s lips when he scoots over to him and lays his left arm around John’s body.  
“Lift your head, please.” Automatically, John does as Sherlock asks.  
With his head on Sherlock’s arm and the man’s other arm around his middle, he momentarily feels calm.

The only thing bothering him is why Sherlock doesn’t holds him closer?

After a moment Sherlock asks. “Why haven’t we been hugging before?” The question is asked with a low voice.   
“Because we’re idiots?” He answers with a question mark in his voice.  
“Yes!” It’s now Sherlock’s turn to nuzzles in John’s hair, but he doesn’t move closer or holds John any harder.  
“Your hair smells good, new shampoo?”  
“Do you like it?”  
“Much better than the one you usually use. When did you start using this one?”  
He inhales the scent again, making a place in his mind palace for the new fragrance that is John’s. It smelling a little bit like rosemary and sea fragrance?  
“I bought it when I went to the hairdresser this week.” John replies in a rush; then asks. “So,,,,you’re not angry at me for-....I mean that it wasn’t good of me-.. what-  
“Shhhhh, it’s good. Is it alright for you to lie like this; me hugging you?”  
“Yes.”  
They’re lying in silence and after some time John closes his eyes, feeling so warm and secure in Sherlock’s arms.  
………………………………………………………………………….

John wakes to the sound of Rosie and Sherlock laughing; another voice is grumbling something in the background. He can’t make up what the other man is saying, but it’s obviously something funny.   
He stretches his limbs and realizes that he’s lying on his back, in the middle of the bed. John mind starts to work and he thinks about, what happened last night; or was it earlier in the morning?

A thought that they will be sleeping together in the same bed again for next two nights makes butterflies appear in his stomach. Will Sherlock try to do something more than to cuddle? I wouldn’t mind that at all! Wait, what was that? A blush appears on his cheeks. His heart starts doing somersaults in his chest.  
“Calm down, idiot! He hasn’t said anything about-“ grumbling he gets out of the bed and stumbles into the bathroom.   
…………………………………………………………………………….. 

Jan greets him with a cup of coffee and a smile.  
“You have a lovely family. They made me an english breakfast and Rosie instructed me to eat the bacon first, so it didn’t get cold!”  
John is a bit taken by what Jan just said. He has a lovely family?  
“Yes, Rosie hates cold bacon.”   
“Your breakfast is ready, John. I put it in the oven, because I didn’t know how long you would be sleeping.” Sherlock stands up and moves to the owen, to take out John’s plate with breakfasts.   
“Thank you, it looks good.” He can’t look Sherlock in the eyes, so instead he looks down on the plate in the other man’s hand. He takes the plate and moves to the table.  
“You said many years ago that a girlfriend would feed you up. Sorry, but today you must rely on your flatmate. I hope this will be satisfying enough, till my mother’s lunch is served.”  
John giggles at the thought of their discussion such a long time ago. 

“If I eat like this every morning, I would be as big as a house.” Jan has a big smile on his face. “Normally it’s oatmeal porridge and coffee for me.”  
Rosie makes a face when she hears, what Jan is eating normally as breakfast.  
“No, it’s nothing like your oatmeal porridge. We make our porridge with oatmeal, water and salt. After cooking the porridge it’s tops with applesauce or berries then some milk.”  
“I thought porridge was made the same way in every country?” It’s John’s turn to make a face now, as he sits down beside Rosie.  
“I didn’t know that you guys made it with milk before I moved here.”  
“Fascinating!” Sherlock interrupts with a bored voice.

“Okey, I get the hint. What did your parents say, when you told them, you’ll bring a client with your to the lunch?” The smile Jan gives Sherlock is big and warm.  
“What could they say? We have to get Rosie to them before we go to Gothenburg and John is your bodyguard as long as you’re our client. By the way, is it alright if I tell them that you’re bisexual? I mean, if they ask, why Amy would be jealous over Sebastian?” 

His voice is very serious, when he asks Jan this question and he’s holding the eye contact with him.  
“You know, that I’m not living in the closet. If it’s in a scenario, when you have to tell them that, it’s not a problem for me. Are they homophobic?”  
“I don’t think so? But it’s nothing we have talked about.”

Jan looks a bit surprised. “You haven’t told them that you’re gay?”  
“No, I haven’t told them directly with words.” A blush appears on Sherlock’s cheeks. “I didn’t have a boyfriend for a very long time and I never thought it’d be important to talk with them about it.”  
“Okey, good to know, so I don’t out you without knowing that’s what I’m doing.”   
He smiles at Sherlock and lays a hand on his nearest shoulder and squeezes it a bit. “It’s up to you whether you’ll tell them or not.”   
John is silently looking at the two other men. It’s so obvious that they’re so gentle and respectful toward each other. 

Rosie decides that, what the adults are discussing is boring.  
“Can I leave the table, please?” She looks at her daddy and he nods at her that; yes, it’s okay. She goes out the kitchen door and up to her room.  
When they hear that the door to her room click close, Sherlock starts to speak.

“I think I want to try and tell them now. Not that I have a boyfriend or any relationship with a man sexually at the moment, but I think I would feel better when I don’t have to hide a part of myself from them.If they can’t accept who I am, it will hurt but it’s my life”  
“Yes, it is! You’re a grown up, that have a responsibility for your own life and decisions. You can’t live your parents life and they can’t live your life.”  
“But what if they rejects you?” John can’t keep silent anymore.  
“Do you reject Sherlock or me?” Jan’s voice has a hard and defiant tone.

“It’s his parents and they’re old.” John’s face is flushing. Why can’t they not understand, that this can hurt Sherlock’s parents? He thinks for himself. 

“I’m 42 years old, John. In my life I have done many things my parents don’t like. Being a smartass, drugs and falling from rooftop. You know how much or little they’re involved in my daily life. If Rosie would come to you and tell you that she loves a woman ,when she’s an adult will you stop loving her?” His voice is strangely angry and sad in the same time?  
“I will always love her and I love you! You’re my friend, it’s all fine!” His stomach goes on a roller coaster ride. What are they arguing about? 

Sherlock explodes.  
“Fine! It’s always fine with you, but it's always leaves me feeling that’s not the truth.” Sherlock eyes meets John and the other man sees the hurt and sorrow in them. 

“It’s the truth Sherlock! I’m only worried, what other people will say and do. I don’t want to see you hurt or beaten by a homophobe.”

“Oh, and therefore I should live in the closet? John, I have been beaten, ridiculed and called a freak without people knowing that I’m gay. What’s the difference?”

“It’s your life.”   
Jan’s voice is so calm now. “Sometimes it’s harder to live in the closet than living with the consequences of being open about who you are. It’s exhausting living with a lie that you always have to protect. I understand that you don’t believe that, John.”

“The whole Molly situation could have been avoided if she had known from the start that woman isn’t my thing. I hurt her badly.”  
“Who’s Molly?”   
“A friend to us both. She helps me sometimes with cases because she’s a pathologist. She fell in love with me when we met, but I didn’t tell her that I was gay.” John doesn’t know, what to say, so he decides to focus on his breakfast instead.   
Rosie is right, cold bacon isn’t good.  
…………………………………………………………………………….  
Later that day at lunch in the Holmes’s family dining room.

They are all sitting around the table. John has been jittery all morning, after the discussion at breakfast.

The Holmes parents were very happy to see them all and had asked Jan many questions about his case. Rosie and grand poppy, that she calls Mr Holmes, had gone out in the garden on the swings. Mr Holmes had put up them, when Rosie and John moved in at Baker Street to John’s big surprise. 

The last people at the table are Rosie and Mr Holmes.  
“Rosie had a question for me and you, dear.” He says and lay a arm around his wife shoulder, standing behind her chair.  
“What question?” Mrs Holmes looks up at her husband.  
“If we would love and cherish her Poppy even if he’s gay?” A bewildered expression showing on her face.  
“Of course we’d love and cherish him! Sherlock, do you think we don’t know that you’re gay? We have known from the second year of your university days. I mean Sebastian Wilkes tried very hard to not give it away that you were together, but he wasn’t any good actor, was he?”

“Wilkes!” John looks gobsmacked.   
“Rosie!” Sherlock jells at the same time.  
“Don’t be angry at your little girl, she loves you! Mr Holmes huggs Rosie with his other hand.  
“It’s was my-” Sherlock sees Rosie’s frighten eyes and stops mid sentence.

“My lovely boy, it doesn’t matter to us that you live with your lover. John is good for you.” Mrs Holmes starts putting a slice of meat from one of the rostered chicken on a plate.  
“John isn’t my lover, his my straight flatmate and best friend. Even a gay man can have a straight best friend or friends that are only friends!” Sherlock snarks.

“Sorry John. I thought you and Sherlock had become partners and therefore decided to tell us. Of course, you can live with John without being a couple. I’m only sorry that you don’t have a partner, John would have been a good choice for you if he had been gay or bisexual.”   
“Thank you for thinking me to be good enough for your son.” John’s voice is a bit stiff but he looks at Sherlock that can see relief in John’s eyes.  
“It’s best we start to eat as long as the food is warm! Mrs Holmes passes the first plate with chicken to Jan. 

When the chocolate cake, whipped cream and coffee is on the table Mr Holmes sends his son a questionable look. Sherlock sees it and understand that his dad has more questions. With a sigh he relents and answer his dad’s silent question.

“You have a question, dad?”  
Dad smiles and nods and let’s his eyes lingers on John for a second.

“If you didn’t want to inform your mother and me that you lived with your partner and his daughter. Why was it so important to tell us now, after 42 years of silence?”  
Sherlock is quite for a moment, thinking about the answer.

“Meeting Jan made me start thinking about my life. He’s openly bisexual and takes the chances life is giving him. If John meets a new woman and wants to make a new try at marriage, I will be left alone again. That thought got me thinking that it’s time for me to see if I can meet someone myself?”  
Hearing this makes John feel like he wants to throw up. His skin feels hot and cold at the same time. 

“You’re afraid that someone or the papers would tell us that if you were dating a man?” Mother sounds so sorry for Sherlock sake.  
“Yes, it’s not good to give your parents a heart attack.”   
“Well, if you’re happy then we’re happy. Do you have somebody in mind for a first dip in the dating pool?”  
Dad looks curiously on Sherlock waiting for hearing his answer.  
“No, not at the moment.”   
John releases a breath he doesn’t realize he was holding.

“Do you remember Trevor? My good friend Tomas Howard son? “Mr Holmes obviously wants to be a matchmaker.” John thinks sourly.

“Trevor? Oh, the chemistry professor.”  
“You two would have a lot to talk about and if I can say it; he’s very good looking. Athletic, he’s running and skiing in his free time.” Mr Holmes looks very pleased with himself and about his suggestion.

“I remember that he was really fit last time I saw him, but isn’t he married?” Sherlock’s voice isn’t to eager.  
“He got a divorce two years ago. He’s always asking questions about you every time we meet him. He’s definitely interested.”   
Mommy ads and then turns toward John. “Do you want more coffee?”  
“No, thank you. I will not be able to sleep tonight if I drink more coffee.”  
Mother give him a smile and starts pouring coffee in her own cup.

“His dreadful wife was cheating on him several times. It’s has taken him some time to get over it.”   
“He was married to a woman?”

Looking at Sherlock, John is trying to decide how much interested in dating this Trevor guy, he is.  
“Can I speak with you about this, dad after we’ve come home from Gothenburg?”  
“Of course, my boy! Have a nice trip. We’ll take care of this little girl and we decide later. At least now you know someone is interested in you”  
Mr Holmes looks very smug.  
………………………………………………………………………….

Later that evening at home at Baker Street.

The flat is quite and the only noise is coming from the shower. Sherlock is sitting at the living room table and going through the papers for the case. 

Amy have a colorful life. Her father had problems with alcohol and was often in prison. Assault on both private people and police. Her mother had left the family home for long periods, before returning again after some months. 

Amy and her sibling Eric spend long periods of time with their grandparents or aunt from the father side.

It’s always the baggage of experiences that explains why the person do what they do, Sherlock thinks. Abandoned several times, before becoming a adult explainings Amy’s jealousy.

John walks in the room. He was down stairs to talk with Mrs Hudson to check if Sherlock hasn’t left any experiments in the fridge, after they left tomorrow morning.

“Is there anything I need to know about the case?” He asks.  
“I think, it’s good that Jan isn’t alone on this trip to Gothenburg. Amy could have been really triggered, after Jan ended the relationship. Keep him in your eyesight when we leave this flat. Sorry, but you’re on body guard duty on this case.”  
“Yeah, that’s not new information. Will you take a shower after Jan or-“  
“I do it after you. I have some emails to read.”   
“Okay.”

Later after showering and shaving John is lying in bed reading a book.   
He’s stomach is full of butterflies. Will Sherlock notice that he had shaved? Will he do more than cuddle tonight? Restlessly he moves his legs, he can’t decide if he should be lying on his back or on his right side. After a moment he decides on lying on his back.   
Sherlock’s in the bathroom preparing for the night.

“Why am I so tired after a day with my parents?” He says when he enters the bedroom.  
“Well, you made a big decision today coming out to them.” John frowns, seeing the other man going to the bedsides table and opening the drawer. He picks up the hand lotion and starts put some of it on his left hand.  
“Yes, but they weren’t surprised at all, I thought I would calm down after lunch.”  
John looks quietly at Sherlock when he starts massaging the solution into his hands.

“Do you always do that?”  
“Do what?”   
“Puts some hand lotion on your hands before going to bed?”  
A blush flowers over Sherlock’s face.  
“Yes. I wash my hands and put hand lotion on every night. My hands are my instruments when I work, you know that!  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. Your hands feels so soft when you are touching me, that’s all.”  
“I don’t touch you, normally.” He's still blushing; not meeting John’s eyes.  
“You touched me last night.” With a determination, Sherlock goes to the other side of the bed and pulls up the blanket. Before sitting down on the bed he asks.  
“Do you want to read more or...?”  
“No, I’m tired. Do you want to read?”  
“No.” He lays down on the bed with his back to John and putts the blanket close over himself. He looks a bit like a dolma from John’s perspective.  
John turns out the light and lies on his back.  
“Good night, then.”  
“Good night, John.”  
…………………………………………………………………………….

John wakes up and notices that Sherlock isn’t lyings besides him. He looks on the clock on the bedside table, 03.17. Where’s Sherlock?   
He doesn’t hear any sounds in the flat, not even a snoring noise from above him. Realizing that he needs to use the toilet, he stands up and goes into the bathroom.

After that, he goes into the kitchen and sees Sherlock sitting in his chair, with his head in his hands. Silently he gets closer and sits down in his own chair. 

“Everything’s alright? Why don’t you come back and lay in your bed?” He asks with a soft voice.   
Sherlock looks up at him surprised to see him sitting there.

“Oh, did I wake you up?” The question is also asked with a quiet voice.  
“I don’t think that I woke up when you left, but after because I missed you in bed. I’m always missing you when you’re not around.  
“I always misses you too when you’re not around.” The answer is delivered with a shyly smile.   
John looks at him and smiles back. He takes a breath and decides to be brave and ask the question he had on his mind all afternoon.

“Were Wilkes really your boyfriend?”  
A sound that’s nearly a laughter, but also a sounding like a snorting left Sherlock's mouth.

“In my mind he was my boyfriend, for a very short time. He’s the reason I haven’t been doubling in relationship or lovers for many years. Seb is bisexual and far more interested in women. Sometimes, but only because no interesting woman is around, a man can catch his eyes. He fancied my body for some months, but only if we were alone in his or mine room. So, no he wasn’t my boyfriend.”  
“He met your parents?” John can’t hide his astonishment.  
“My parents and his parents have the same social society. A week after I stopped going to his room or letting him into my room, I accompanied my parents to the opera and we stumbled across Seb and his parents. At the time he was rather upset that I had *ditched* him, as he called it.”

“But you kept up with being friends after that?” John’s so focused on every word Sherlock says, that he doesn’t realize that he’s nearly sitting at the edge of his armchair.  
“No!”  
He stands up and moves to the kitchen. John puts a hand on his nearest arm, when he passes him by.

“Sorry, I didn’t have any rights to ask about this!” The words are rushing out of his mouth.  
Sherlock stops and looks at John’s hand on his arm.  
“No, you can ask me. It’s only… this is something I haven’t told anyone in all this years. It’s hard to talk about it and remember, John.”

A shiver goes through Sherlock’s body and even John is able to feel and it makes him shiver too.   
“Please, I need to hold you. It’s cold and in the middle of the night.” John says with a soft voice.  
“It’s hard for me to not overstepping any rules of friendship, John. You must tell me at once if I ever come near that line!”  
“How can you be overstepping if I’m the one holding you in my arms? Besides you need to tell me if I do the same thing. It’s goes both ways you know?” Sherlock only sees kindness and warmth when he looks into John’s eyes.  
“Lead the way, soldier!”  
John is laughing quietly with real joy, when he leads them into the bedroom. 

That early morning, in the bed, John is lying on his back, with Sherlock in his arms; the other man’s head on his chests. He can’t stop pushing his fingers through his best friends hair. After a long time he decides, that he wants to tell the man in his arms something.

“Last night and this night has made me understand something. I need you! Both as a friend, as a co parent to Rosie and-“ how the hell do he say the last thing.  
“I-“ he closes his mouth. He takes a breath and rushes out the words.  
“We need both cuddles and holding each other-“ again his voice falters. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know if I can be your lover, but I love you and it feels so good to at last hold you like this.”

“It’s alright, John. You’re not Sebastian. You have always been open about what you are and where the lines goes. We can cuddle on the couch after this case ends. It will also be easier for us to see where the lines goes, when we both starts to date other people.”

“You mean that you don’t want to cuddle in this bed after tomorrow night?”

Sherlock’s face is hidden for him, because it lays on his chest. The only thing that can be a source of reaction is his voice and body tension.  
Sherlock is a bit still and ridged in his arms, after what he said about cuddling.

“John, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m a gay man and you already know that I love you. It’s best if we try to separate friendships and a relationship with a partner. Do you understand what I mean?” Rather than seeing the stress and confusion in the man, John feels it. 

“You’re afraid of putting me in a situation that I can’t handle?” The question is said with a thoughtful voice.

“Yes, and to ruin our friendship and family of sorts? I think our family is good for Rosie. Me, Nana, my parents and we can’t forget uncle Mycroft!”

“Uncle Greg!” John is quietly laughing again.

“Yes, it’s a balancing act but if we both want it, I think we can make it work. For Rosie’s and ours sake.”

“Yes, I don’t want to live without you in my life, it’s to hard.”

“Well, last time you left me-” with a click Sherlock close his mouth.  
John’s quiet for a moment before he says.

“So we both realize, that’s not a option for either of us?” His hand is still on Sherlock’s head. He holds him close to his chest. Suddenly he feels lips closing in the middle of his chest and can hear a whispered words. 

“We will have a life together as long as we’ve friendship and love for each other and Rosie.”  
John is a bit surprised over the kiss but not upset.   
“We do this now, cuddles and pecks on the chest?”  
He starts moving his hand again in the other man’s hair, silently signaling that everything is alright.   
After sometime he realizes, that Sherlock has fallen asleep.

……………………………………………………………………………  
The next morning in bed.

John wakes up feeling warm and content. He’s lying on his left side spooning Sherlock. His friend is sleeping with a little snoring noise. John starts to smile, when he thinks of the question he was asked many years ago if his friend was a snorer. “Now I have the answer to that question!

He rolls on his back, stretching his body.   
“Good morning.” His companion in bed grumble.   
“Good morning to you too.”  
Sherlock turns around and looks at him with sleep drunk eyes.  
“What time is it?” John looks at the clock on the bedside table.  
“Half past seven and no Rosie, that we have to expect coming down for breakfast!” Sleepyhead besides him hums a approving noise.  
“Well, she and grand poppy had a playful day in the garden yesterday, so hopefully your parents have a lazy morning to. For a moment after lunch I thought your dad would get a heart attack, when he was galloping around with Rosie on his back.”

Sherlock starts to snicker remembering dad strutting around in the garden trying to look like a horse.   
“Wonder what Mycroft would have said if he seen that?” John is musing for himself.  
“Nothing at all. He would remember dad doing such things with both of us, when we were children. Dad was always playing with us in the garden at Sunday’s afternoon. He did that because he liked playing and he wanted us children to be outside and just being children. Mother was the one that helped and inspired our education. Daddy was the one that played and hugged us when we were hurt by something.”

“So they had different roles in your life?” John’s smiling eyes meets very kind green eyes of a man remembering happy childhood memories.  
“Haven’t all parents different roles in their children’s life? You’re the one cuddling and taking care of Rosie’s needs of nutrition and kissing away some small hurts?” I helps her with education and learning new things like words?  
“You’re cuddling her too, don’t think I haven’t seen you consoling and comforting her when she tumbled over toys.”  
“She was upset! I couldn’t leave her crying, could I?” He’s trying to sound angry, but he’s only teasing.   
“Poppy to the rescue and you didn’t need a hero cape!” John sniggers.   
Sherlock is trying to look offended, but soon he’s laughing too.  
…………………………………………………………………………..  
Jan is in the kitchen, when John soon after comes out of the bathroom. Coffee and tea are ready and he has made toasted bread, boiled eggs and is starting to put marmalade and cheese on the table from the fridge. He gives the other man a smile and goes to the table and pores a cup of tea to himself.  
“Do you and Sherlock have any plans for today?” John eyes the other man putting the plates on the table.

“Sherlock said he wanted to talk to me about my friend Nathalie and her parents. She and Sebastian have become friends during time they’ve been in the competition.”  
John knows very well that it isn’t Sebastian Wilkes, Jan is talking about, but John’s mind stops at the name; Sebastian!  
How could Sherlock have fallen in love with that slippery man?  
He couldn’t understand what Sherlock could find attractive in him.

“Good morning, only toast for me! Sherlock says cheerfully, when he enters the kitchen.  
………………………………………………………………………………

Sunday afternoon 

Jan and Sherlock are sitting at the kitchen table discussing the case and making a plan. John has just made tea for them all. He takes his cup and goes to the living room and sits down in his armchair. 

He’s trying to organize all new information he got from Sherlock this last week and what his feelings are regarding their relationship. After a moment he takes out his little notebook he uses on cases. Thoughtfully he writes down a list of points that his mind is working on. He looks around the room before rewriting something’s on the list.

Sherlock is gay and wants to start dating. How would it feel to see his date when he picks up Sherlock or kisses him goodbye?   
We discussed living together even after both meeting new partners? Madness!   
Buying a house together and living with our new partners and Rosie in the same house? Madness! How would that work?  
Sherlock informs me that we have to share room and his bed for three days so Jan can have my room. I’m a bodyguard for Jan on this case!?  
At Friday night we shared his bed and spooned each other. It’s me that starts doing it by dreaming about spooning him. He didn’t get angry only wanted to change positions so he could hold me in his arms! (Why am I so turned on by that?)  
We ended up cuddling and I fell asleep in his arms. Best sleep I have’d in years!  
Sherlock come out yesterday to his parents. No arguments and no anger from his parents. My parents wouldn’t have accepted that!  
His parents thought we already were a couple?! Why did the think that?  
Mr and Mrs Holmes thought I would be a good partner to their son! Madness, but it’s flattering that they thinking that about me.   
Mr Holmes after getting to know that we’re not together wanted to be a matchmaker between his son and a man called Trevor! Sherlock said the man was good looking but didn’t seem over excited at a thought of a date with the man? What would I do if he goes on a date with him?  
I shaved before going to bed last night, why did I do that?  
Last night we shared the bed again, our second night in the same bed. Sherlock got out of the bed in the middle of the night and I found him sitting and thinking in his armchair in the living room? What was he thinking about?  
I asked him what Wilkes meant to him? How did I dear to do that?  
We talked! Friendship contra relationship! Oh, boy!   
Sherlock is afraid to overstepping a line between friendship and taking advantage of me! Stupid, I’m stronger than him and have combat skills!   
We decided that Sherlock, Rosie and me are a family! Oh, god let that be the truth!  
He slept in my arms the rest of the night!   
Lovely morning! Waking up to a warm and sleep drunk Sherlock. With happy green eyes that I seldom seen. They’re mostly gray or blue but when his happy they’re green. Talking in bed about yesterday. This is what I want, a family talking about grandparents and things to happen.   
Am I mad? Can we have this?  
Can I be open with my dream? Telling him my secret? Do I have the guts to do it? 

After writing and rewriting the list, it’s the last question he can’t stop thinking about.   
Sherlock breaks his thinking process when he asks, from the door to the living room, whether they would go to Angelo’s and eat dinner?  
He hides the notebook hastilly.  
“Yeah, it would be good getting out of the flat for a moment.”  
“Don’t forget your gun.” The other man reminds him. 

…………………………………………………………………………

The dinner at Angelo’s.

They have no problems getting a table and Jan appreciates both the restaurant and the food. Nobody seems to notice the three man. 

When they get home, Jan wants to go to bed early since the plane to Sweden is booked at 06.00 a.m in the morning. As always Sherlock isn’t tired and starts reading new emails on his laptop; some questions he can easily answer. 

John goes to the shower and like yesterday he shaves. In his mind he gives himself an excuse, that he’ll not have time to do it in the morning. He falls easily asleep and dreams about the list he wrote earlier in the evening. He moves around in the bed, but doesn’t wake up from the dreams he’s having. 

Sherlock comes to bed after a couple of hours. He realizes that John is restless in his dreams and moves to hold him. John sighs and falls in a dreamless sleep.


End file.
